Monday

January 6th

A winter in Tuscany

Compared to last years Greece getaway that had me carefully weighing up escape plans against exit possibilities….This (winter)time around it all came down to “fuck strategy” and simply go. (With my toes still somehow my own and not yet chill blained and frozen. Numb beyond revival for just another 5 months. 

Simply see how far I get and if that is close to nowhere meaning:…just one more time being stuck with prick politicians  (as in Mussolini, Berlusconi and Melloni) plus a lot of Pizza and Pasta on top….well so be it….then I can still cry. 

Everything is better and more cheerful than London in January or February (however much I love it at other times).

What I really mean is that I was not entirely sure Italy would be the right place to go if you are on a low carb diet and moreover deadly disgusted by Bolognese.

Not that I have not thought many times of faking a little carbohydrate-deficiency related incapacity, that together with a protective injury would have given me a free ticket to leave work early on several occasions……(everybody else seems to use it as an excuse!).

Totally understandable, comforting thought …. and not a surprising one is that the Romans invented the vomitorium many centuries ago….

So no…. Italy has never really been on my Radar till now…..

But surely I could easily survive on Olives, Vino and that Parmigiano for a couple of months.

What does come to mind is a bit of Armaci and Versani here and there, which I was never able to afford and some brilliant (unfortunately discontinued) Valentino scents. 

Eros Ramazotti (can’t even remember how to spell the name) when I was about 17??? And a brilliant Michelangelo biography I read when I was about 18?????

Leonardo da Vinci surely but more as a universally recognised genius and not exactly as an Italian national treasure or heritage symbol.

…ah and there was this massive movie poster stuck on my wall (the next phase after I took down the Pope and Micheal Jackson): “The Sicilian”… 

Gosh looking at it (the movie) nowadays one can only think that movie making  has seriously evolved since the 80ies. 

Just like Highlander (without the Frenchman’s attempt at a Scottish accent) but equally cheesy.

Still such potential for a remake!!! Have to check on what is happening with the actual Highlander revival, rather excited about that one, hope they are not messing it up a second time round…. But that is a story for another day… 

For now it was Italy and not Scotland.

So yeah… that about summed it up and that was going to change!

After a bit of research throughout the months before I found, or (more like) got lured into an allegedly paid for work away position in the chianti hills and already during the 1st phone call I caught the welcoming vibe that gets reserved for paying visitors and unpaid volunteers.

As the website stated the employer/host pays the regional/countries minimum wage for every hour worked and therefore I would neither qualify for one or the other I felt slightly confused …till I realised actual payment/wages never happened….now sense fully meaning I fell into the later category.

And if not getting paid at least have that much time to write a book…..and the accommodation all to myself, was what was promised also and was what got me to agree to the position anyway.

Ok ….should have asked a lot of questions before… amongst which a definition of “enough time” would have avoided further disappointment on my side.

In reality I barely ever managed to keep up with my scrap book entries.

And well I did not really think I would actually write it (the book)(or did I?)…. If I was lucky I got to read a few pages of somebody else’s at the end of the day. 

Besides this….. it started all rather well …..I was supposedly being off on Tuesdays and Fridays….and there was a strong indication to receiving a crash course introduction to shooting. …something I always wanted to have a go at((()))

January is hunting season in the chianti hills and everything was about wild boar everywhere. 

All over it smelled like wood fires and fresh air and actually I was quite often reminded of Scotland after all.... rather then feeling I was in Italy. 

Even the converted barn turned into a rather characterful accommodation. It did though take two weeks of continuous cleaning and decluttering years of mindless occupation by my predecessors, spider-invasions, mice  and generally disgusting and sticky remains all over…. 

After further clarification “having the accommodation to myself “ meant I still shared the place with a (fortunately super nice ) girl for about two weeks. …but o.k. I felt able to agree to that….

The proposition of having Tuesdays and Wednesdays off on the other hand got reduced to an entirely different reality or call it schedule if you like….

Meaning: 

The 1st week the Italian yard manager showed up ( well he did after all….have to give him credit for that!) with a serious and very painful neck-injury, which had him making hospital appointments throughout and prevented him from being around to give me the expected introduction to the basics of my (unpaid) job….

The 2nd week he had this terrible cold and cough that kept him away again and then when he finally showed sometime into the third week he came on crutches claiming the ownership to a painful condition in his leg widely known as a pulled muscle…. Ah yeah right!!!! ....

What was it about protective injuries I mentioned a few lines above?

So naturally (Ah right (again!!!!!) he could not work and I would not get the time off I had been told about.

Still he went hunting (had to take advantage of the season….My guess!)…wild boar ....and had I been hoping to acquire those seriously anticipated skills to shoot things (as in guns, rifles, pistols or other devices , maybe only an air rifle or some blanks) personally, I soon came to realise that as the payment/wages never happened the introduction to weaponry was never mentioned again either….So were my days off on Tuesday and Friday!!!.

Leaving me wanting to shoot other people if not myself and expanding the imaginary list and line up .....for practicing purposes….by a few fold.

Not that I am at all a violent person or ever really will (shoot anybody or anything) but pretence is still a powerful weapon too!!! 

And having been left with nothing else too many times, by now I am an expert at wielding it.

Lets just say that made it a lot easier to focus on the positives….

After all I came here to have a good time ….so embellish and polish up the so called perks of the job seemed to turn into my main occupation over the following weeks to come.

One just had to look for them….handle them correctly/creatively or recognise them as such/in the 1st place.

There was THE VAN for example:

Yes I was rather looking forward to driving ...particularly a European car...but on arrival and after the 1st tour the vehicle reminded me more of a heap of scrap metal on wheels than an actual van. 

After raising serious/considerable concerns in regard to safety issues (as in handbreak got stuck, no pull in 1st gear, flat tire, would not start at all on occasions, indicator took serious breaks from functioning properly....or at all, windshield came close to unsee-though-able on a rainy day. 

That the heating was not working...well who cared....) I got told I would behave childishly and that apparently the vehicle had been driven and used for over 30 years and done it's service to girls much younger than me...and anyway I would just be annoying, too anxious and complicated.

Well there you go...thinking to myself that that (the 30 years!!!) might have been exactly the reason for the malfunction and actually the biggest problem....I tried to point out that I am not naturally an anxious person (ah...would I even be here if I was???!!!), but think of myself as a cautious one (with a clean licence!). 

And if that thing rolls backwards on a hill and smashes into that brand new BMW with me behind the steering wheel it actually has nothing to do with my driving/navigational/operational skills, my age or mental disposition, but comes down entirely to one thing. The fact it simply will not react in accordance with my skillful commands!!!!!!

That being said and off my chest, thinking perks and positives routinely by now....I told myself that after all I had my own transport !!!!

And as long as the remaining bits to it stayed in place and it started up I was quite happy to try and get used to it. Actually quite enjoyed driving it around in the end.....

Alternatively there was train travel....simply marvellous.... Have not enjoyed going by train for a long time as much as I did here.

Seriously, super cheap, super clean and super empty....and on time most of the times......

Next one up: FREE RIDING

Well passed on that one....still remembering the pains the last time round I tried to get back into it.

Instead I went walking the riding routes.

Simply wonderful....so much space and quiet. No waddlers in sight. No creatures creaping whilst screaming to a screen....just nature, vineyards , pine trees olive groves and the whole of the sky all to myself.....

More like "free walking" because that was what it felt like to be all for and by myself again.

Then of course THE WEATHER

As I had been told to prepare for rather icy conditions and to expect cold, snow in the worst case....to my surprise I found the temperatures rather mild. A few frosty days (unfortunately making my toes pop right away).... but overall a bit like springtime in the UK.

Though grey on arrival there was very little rain and thanks god no snow.....A lot of blue sky and I even managed a few tanktop moments in the sun here and there.

Apparently quite unusual for this time of year, well being January after all, still it was one of the best unexpected experiences and one of the positives I loved the most!

Just what I hoped for....contrary to many things I anticipated.

Also have to mention THE WINE

Started with the cheapest bottle I could find in the the village's supermarket....apparently the local stuff. 1,29 Euro. I called it Crap-polino. Actually I did not believe how good it tasted....well let's say I had a lot worse paying over 5,- pound for a bottle in London, that never even came close.

Definitely have to mention FREE GUIDED TOUR: AREZZO

Offered by my host who was/is an expert in medieval art and history....So lots of interesting information to be taken from that day....sunny, bright and almost warm....

I think this was my favourite place....not so crowded, quiet but with lots of atmosphere.

Thanks for this...had a great time.

FREE GUIDED TOUR: FLORENCE

Also enjoyed: FREE FOOD

And though I never recieved any payment, my food and grocery bills were taken care of.

So that even when I was not earning money at least I did not have to spend more.

All I had to do to keep it cheap but cheerful and add a bit of variety to what I was able to afford on the budget was to kick start my creative cooking. 

Take all the left overs, shelf-loads full there were (unfortunatly mostly pasta, pasta and yet another shape or type of pasta again...but did find a half full(!!) jar of peanut butter-what a treat!!!)...select what was left in the fridge and still in edible condition.....add my ability to recondition throw outs....and pour some of the delicous olive oil I got (also for free!) over the result.

Even revived some of the freezer burned veg I saved from icing up entirely.

Quite a few new recipes I came up with....Mushy peas with thyme, carrots con canela (sweet carrot mash with cinnamon)...all upgraded by the olive oil...home grown and produced...got rather addicted to it and almost literally went through a bottle of it each week. 

Last but not least... NO INTERNET OR TV

Also no news or netflix.... Back in the real world without panic, fear, war, catastrophe, destruction, drama, disease, detailed injury or devestation on a massive scale.

Enjoyed my evenings (however short they were....as I had to get up at 6.00 every morning) next to the woodburning stove finally getting back into making some new collages.

Or alternatively watching the stars and the night sky instead. 

Another treat and actually just what I hoped for!!!!

Surrecturus (sum) , January 2025