Tuesday

23rd April

Greece holidays with Dad (Chapter 3: Athens and Peloponnese)

After months of weighing up the advantages of a successful exit strategy against a satisfyingly fruitful vanishing act, the aim being to just one more time escape the miserable English weather, the eagerly awaited Greece- holiday with my Dad promised a welcomed chance to succeed at just that.. ...meaning either one or the other….if only temporarily.

As I felt just about ready to do anything for a bit of my most missed addictive of all…. Solar energy/sun rays/blue sky and dry heat.

Literally turn every stone, move every cloud, pack every bag…..fuck every(weather) god (Helios comes back to mind)….or well … go on another holiday sponsored by my old man!!!!

Had way to much mould and greasy hay dust clogging up my vital essentials and power reserves over the last few winter weeks.

So what was paid for by my Dad, and supposed to go down in history(well I wished...and no I am not talking about climate change or the consiprationally suspected government involvement / cloud seeding uso) as the “weather fuck” started all so well….

...as the strangest orange light fell through the plane windows and upon the Acropolis on our Athens arrival.

OPERATION DESERT FLOOR….

Sahara dust…. Guess that was meant to be a little vowing welcome gift...? (Just me wishing again!!?)? …

All over this monstrous city and every single surface, inside my clothes, my eyes and on my skin… great it even made the news my mum was watching in Germany ... Could it possibly get any dryer.

Definitely left the English damp and wetness behind!!!!

So yeah looks very much that what used to be “sleep with the language (the explanation of our lovely Greek tourist guide on why her English and German was so good….and I do actually fully agree...happened a bit the same way for me) has turned into sleeping with the weather forecast.

Or like I said before anything that could have an improving effect on the weather situation.

Talking about language…. Well I did go into this with the best of intentions.

Meaning I was really going to try and stick to German, as the travel group we were booked with was German and of course my old man does not speak any English.

Also I felt as Germany, according to my mum, paid the biggest part of the bailout loans to Greece after the financial crisis one should really make an effort.

Not sure the Greek people actually agree….?

But lets be honest….What has England ever done for Greece other but stolen the Elgin Marbles, and rehomed the Queen’s strength and stay …

though I assume Prince Phillip gave himself up willingly? Sadly enough he is not around no more to get clarity on that matter….

Turns out that already on the short trip from Athens airport to the hotel brushing up on my German vocabulary by listening in on some of my travel companions conversations resulted in me picking up the 4 key words to be repeated throughout….

Entsetzlich, fuerchterlich, schrecklich und gefaehrlich (well add your umlauts where my keyboard does not).

A few days later in some remote mountain village those were extended by rutschig (ch!!!)…

Really!?… Well I guess that was me done with bonding and trying to adapt to the group’s mentality.

I came here to enjoy myself….and anyway group activities or travel have never been my forte.

Though I did get the impression throughout our tour guide did her best to turn every day into a little team building exercise...which in my opinion was rather funny….As it was difficult not to see the irony of the situation.

The tour was quite obviously build around some of the highlights of Olympian heritage and in most places we visited the Olympian memory was emphasized and meant to be brought back to life.

Great Games, amphitheatres, athletes, gods, godlike creatures and fighters, myths and stories.

And then here comes cripple club hundreds of centuries later. Creeping all over those sacred places, as if they have just sprung from a Netflix-Zombie -Movie.

Finding everything nothing else but abscheulich, fuerchterlich, entsetzlich, rutschich oder gefaehrlich!!!

Really no offence...but my Dad with his 85 years was amongst the fittest of them all..!!!

For the rest most of them probably even younger than myself came with a restraining ailment or at least a limp….Gosh people what has happened…

Lets just say the Olympian spirit just one more time seems to have left the village a long time ago!!!???

Almost (not for the 1^st time) I felt like inventing a protective injury myself!!!

(Unfortunately my back-muscle-disorder was a rather shortlived experience, would have come in quite handy now!?).

If it had only allowed me to use the disabled loo without being looked at outcastlishly.

(sorry also had to invent new words to stay true to the story).

Because as one surely can imagine the lines and queues outside the facilities were as unimaginably massive as the overall turnout of visitors to the actual sights.

At times I was not sure what was the main attraction….!

So yeah to come full circle and go back to where I started the “Weather Fuck”...

it had to be a god or the forecast, as I so did not detect anything remotely fuckable (Oh well excuse my french....lets rather say "worth the effort") amongst the … normal mortal crowd and their defining features.

And the government is completely out of the question...cloud seeding or not….!

Not that I am an expert regarding the matter of intercourse at all and I do sound seriously arrogant but I was seriously shocked by coming just one more time face to face with what being human actually entails.

Pacing by the limping, creaping/creepy crowds to make it up every temple hill and mountain village turned my motivational tune from:

“It otherwise takes so long and hurts so much” to the constant confrontation with what it really comes down to for the majority of all my travel companions….:

“It just hurts so long and takes so/too much!!!”

Anyway knowing my luck I most certainly fuck the wrong guy/god anyway…..

So lets just not dwell on it….

I was here to enjoy myself...was I not??

Sun is shining and the weather was sweet...no further action required.

Soooo many wonderful things to see...just block out the crowds...

Did though get the fridge magnet...pocket size….just in case.

Best solution….can keep my options open and even take it home.

On getting photo- bummed

Yeah right all you beautiful strangers...could you have only waited a minute or two...??

 Dad's newspaper

And right again...turn the page and there is yet another one.... at least this cunt (KANT) actually has something (of lasting quality) to say....

Brilliant (luxury!) bathrooms

And constant (!!!Yeah really constant!!!!)hot water!!!!!

Buffet choices and other sources of sustenance

Not exactly what one would call a luxury selection of dinner deals...more like a basic school meal most of the times....

Never mind .... I opted for the cigarettes and icecream option anyway. As those where the only two things that did not make me need to queue for the overcrowded facilities all the time.

Travel Comfort

Jump the queue for extra leg room and prepping my face mask with precious perfumed oil...did at times consider literally sniffing glue through it ....would have made the times spent on the coach more beareable....

Olive oil!!!!

Most certainly what one would need for a bath in it... Still 85,-Euro for a container is maybe a bit to much.....

Monochrome!

And finally these lines to my Dad, I know we had/have our ups and downs and we both are not the easiest to get along with....

...but those days have been amongst the best ones in my life......

....SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING ME!!!