Saturday

June 27th

No birthday songs.....still one of my favourite Elton John songs (cry to heaven). Though I am not in my fathers flat no more but in my mum's basement. Not exactly what one would call a substantial change to my "here, where I am not there-situation". Somehow after the election result a few weeks ago I do though feel I don't really have to get over there at all. It will soon be just like here....well at least I could still speak english...now there is a reason. And they are so right because it actually was all so damn easy in the UK. Looks like soon that will be over then too.

Bricks and stones.....sems like everybody is trying something like a "germanic approach" recently....

From smokers exile down to a secret cigarette. Great to take black and white pics again!!!

Well next week it is back to work and walk (can't remember having done anything else for 5 years), publically described and disguised as "learn and earn". Brilliant.... those politicians do have a way with words.

For now I do want to enjoy my new camera for a bit....playing/painting with light! Just what I need to make the remaining time in this dark spider-pit pass a little easier.

It really takes great pictures. Though I can not help but think I should have better taken them 20 years ago, though strangely enough I never really looked like that then....but I never felt so tired and tied down either.And though sky is the limit recently wherever you go I think it must be such a lonley place, looked at from down here...there can not be anybody up and in it. Because I cried my freaking self out over the last 5 years and if there was somebody they would have heard me....for sure.

Sunday

June28th

And I am not sure if I want to call them selfies. Really not sure if I like the word at all (though somehow I can not help but think I pride myself in personally having taken part in it's invention about almost 28 years ago (really time goes by much to fast)).

1stly because I think they are to good for that... almost artistic not??? And 2ndly somehow I can not exactly say that I find myself in them, at least not the self I feel like (because mostly I feel like nothing recently except the working and the walking of course). It is more like they are somewhere inbetween the guy my mother always wanted me to be.....something like Jesus (yet again or still) and this future somebody I feel I am supposed (hopefully about) to become. Once I am back to my own life...though I am not sure if I will ever be able to afford it again.