Sunday

April 21st

Trying to cheer me up a bit more, I got myself a little late B-day present.

Over a thousand pages on where I'd rather like to be while I'll be back to spending the last of my best years, months days and hours just outside the ugliest train station I ve ever known. Trying to get through "another here" very much avoiding the thought that the next few holiday days are more than 4 months away from now.

So wish I would feel like this really happy easter.....but honestly I am just dead tired.

Saturday

April 20th

Lekker dagje uit in Maastricht!

Back to the Netherlands after more than 14 years...

Really was in need of something nice.

Saturday

April 5th

Thought that sounded slightly more essential than the German choice of full filling after work activities. Which as I have been told some time ago are “Fressen, Ficken, Fernsehen". Actually just the things I do not really get around to no more.

Though I wouldn’t mind being able to get BBC TV over here…maybe I would feel a little more like home.

Looks like I have to stick to the radio… well I really very much enjoy their programs occasionally.

Still there is the moviebuster .... but I really was not going to spend another Saturday night with Prometheus and all those pre and post historic slimy, scary somethings….(Watched it over 3 and a half times by now)!

Guess it will go where Alexander went... and then I'll watch it again in a year or so.

Actually I should be studying “Network Technologies “ right now because I have my first exam next week.

But it simply is a subject way to boring to block my brain with.

So I keep thinking about the movie. Mostly because somehow I could not really figure the story line.

Reading some of the interpretations on the internet confused me even more.

Thinking I probably got it all wrong.

Because I assumed it was about time travel and a symbolic circular journey through evolution and all its levels and manifestations. The end and the beginning being the beginning to the end again…..

Wondering why everybody inside and outside the movie is referring to this “alien” that creates and destroys. When the only living (more or less) beings who ever proved (!) the power to do so are us humans.

Really sometimes the only threat to humanity seems to be human beings themselves (No god (if there still is one left) could ever be so cruel or stupid). So maybe all that destroys and creates us are “we ourselves”. And there really is nothing out there.....

Exactly like Shaw said in the Movie. “I got it all wrong!!!”

(Probably the promethean moment of enlightenment!)

Yeah “WE got it all wrong!!! It is not THEM who created US it is US who created THEM (more in the sense of being or becoming them) because we could and we apparently seem to be unable to stop doing things as long as we still can.

I very much find it is US (the human race) turning into this CHILD-FACED-BRAIN-BLOWING-HYPER-BODIED-DEAD-HEADED-CAVEMAN.

Looking to and reaching for the stars playing with worlds and spreading our damaged/damaging DNA way beyond the boundaries of our natural habitat.

The only alien that would ever scare the living hell out of me....

Somehow I start to see it all around.

Initially I thought the movie was some future outlook (if it is not actually taking place right now already....) of what we will come down to if we keep on looking in all the wrong places. Further away from ourselves than we have ever been.

Maybe we should stop looking for that saviour or creator almighty somewhere out and up there all together and acknowledge that we actually have been given the power to create, reinvent or even save our own selves and we already do just that every day again and again, but somehow still don't understand. And really neither use nor appreciate our gifts in the way we should.

Maybe more of us (humans) should try to use their potential and perform an effort to cut out the monster that grows within....Because somehow I can not rid myself of the idea it grows just because we let it and really can not be bothered to do anything about it.