Saturday

March 30th

B-Day-Me-Therapy-2013!!!

Just don't tell my mum...she will think I have a narcistic disorder (not sure if that word actually exists in english, well the Germans have an analytical expression for almost everything though!) And anyway if this is a disorder I very much like to keep it. Still think there must be something wrong with this crabby camera (it was only 50 Euro) I never ever look like that...But this is me and I have just turned 43.....yes. So my brothers girlfriend gave me a coat (comes in rather handy this time of year...springtime my a.....!), my mum made me my favourite chocolate cake wich I will attend to in a bit and I got a travel voucher to London.

Looks like I am almost breathing again......

So very happy easter and cheers!!!

Sunday

March 24th

Good morning river....!

Woke up a few days ago dreaming I was on a 74 bus back in London and there was actually something that reminded me of spring.

Lucky days those sick days...though every breath I take sounds like it is my last one...guess that is just what happens when I stop blowing them out.

Well I got a little pocket ventilator now and only smoked 3 cigaretts....

Also my gun thoughts have evaporated...don't worry 1stly I would not have the money, unless I want to spend another 2 years killing myself trying to save up for it...and 2ndly I would only use it on myself... in which case it would most certainly backfire.

What an ill grounded society we live in...feeling healthier being off sick than (being made) normal, well and ongoing....living on ones ass-kick-allowance, tv-rubbish and celedebries.

Never thought that keeping ones thumbs up because it is easier to push them down that way is exactly what is commonly known as a "positive" gesture.



Really like that word CELEDEBRIES!!!

Should make that the working title of my next collage.

For now it is D-RIVER (And I really love that one!!!).

And if I ever really get some time...I have to sort this website out find it messy somehow.

Monday

March 11th

And actually I do still look like a real person...always seem to forget not looking at myself...had to take pictures again...makes me forget a little about how I feel and think about my self after just another German winter. Well after (!!??)....outside its snowing again. 

Sunday

March 10th

Something like spring for a few days at last.... still feeling stuck amongst all spineless strangers. Though I do kind of blend in perfectly...now...finally....with my broken back.

Spinal fracture at first, then again not...seems like the doctors and their diagnosis(es?) are as invertabrate as the patients piling up in the waiting room. 

Well anyway that broom stick is out and somebody (or something) replaced it with an axe smashed straight into my lumbar region.

Geting rather sick and tired keeping my back against the wall... patientlike...taking it one step at a time seems ridiculously over-ambitious when all of a sudden I find it impossible to even stand upright unsupported ( not that I've ever done anything else...).

Well any way I am better now and that running break from the whip in my back was almost as beneficial as the first few days with sunshine and decent temperatures. Good feeling to know one is able to use the bathroom independently again.

Worked a little on my collages.

I kind of started stealing screenshots from movies what I find to be a more contemporary way of cutting up magazines.