Saturday

December 29th



 So thats a bit more of recent X-Mas-Me:

And I figured that fags are amongst the few things I will most certainly not give up next year. Another one is my chapel... (actually do not mind the churches, never liked religion anyway...)

Really, I tried to "blink" but I better not smile as I lost one of my most precious dental crowns a few days ago (and my balance was just about to look so good...kind of half of what I worked for over the last year... gone in one "bite" ...or two, doesn't really matter does it...)....well there you go, same procedure as every year, as every time for as long that I can remember....for as long as I have been wishing on the same thing (or another for a change) over and over again...It is almost guaranteed the exact opposite is going to happen. And God (well better that thing that came to replace him!!) still laughs straight into my face....Ready to pour the bucket, well he can save the bleach in it, I would never want to be that blond again....



Anyway "HAPPY" "NEW" YEAR... to those who can afford it, pretty sure the dentist will be one of them.

Sunday

December 23rd



Ok then "HAPPY X-MAS" Was not going to say it because I can not feel it. All I do is thinking about how I will possibly get through January....

And how nothing will change again...like last year and how I am so tired of it all. How I really am!

Well whatever.... Favourite X-Mas-Song this year...: "IF" (Michael Nyman) !  

(Nicely converted into "ROCHESTER'S FAREWELL" for "The Libertine". probably more suitable as far as the lyrics are concerned)...

Sunday

December 9th

So now I called it "Two Floors".

Thought about "Miles (or Miss) Per Hour".

Maybe something with "Miracles...Hungy".

Like  in the movie I watched a few weeks ago. Agora....that goosebump feeling of "giving" bread and all the other stuff that keeps you just about satisfied enough to not question the saviours fom the saints and follow those... whoever they are...telling you your name is "Neil" or "Christian".

Really miss my only church must have left it out there with myself...

Crawling through the mud thinking about more names to take to the lake...(think Enna and Eustus sound nice Livier too)...

Hoping that one day all this precious plough experience pays off somehow. Because I still not have the land I want and all I think about is that if only my Daddy ever made enough to pay for all those "BBs ( Being Blond, Big Bags, and Bla Bla Bullshit)"...Like I said before I could just walk straight through that door.

Coming home with my feet back on the floor...Unravel all it must come down to.

The big "G" that stands for Gum and Gravity! (Really two things I believe in!...

And yeah the Goldfish... but they all died...a long time ago)



Saturday

December 8th